I’m not good at being a girl

A couple of days ago I talked about how I used to hate Makeup and how I changed my view after a few things happened in my life and this got me thinking about other things I’ve thought and heard around for quite a while.

For some reason, even if that type of feminism is supposed to be gone or so I read, it seems like for you to be a feminist there’s an unspoken rule about makeup, clothes, shoes and things you should like and dislike. If you like pink, hello kitty or anything remotely girly it’s kind of frowned upon and I used to buy that idea for quite some time. Most of my adolescent years I wore black, my mom thought it would be a phase, but I still wear it; what changed was that I learned that I could be girly and that didn’t mean I was any less as awesome as anyone other girl that was not girly.

So, let me say it: I SUCK AT BEING GIRLY.

kuregahime-tsukimi-zombie-walk

Makeup. Nails. Hair. Anything related to have the delicacy of a flower takes me time, effort and most of all remind myself that is fine if I like it even if I’m awful at it.

I think that in part is because I fought against it for so long that I need to rewire my brain a little to get used to those things, so in order to get this done I’ve been trying to get back into “girly” things. A few days ago I did my nails for the second time and here is the result:

A post shared by Sakura Ai (@sakura_ai) on

I still need a lot of practice (maybe I’ll end uploading tutorials, hence the new category) and find tricks to make it easier for me to paint my nails, but as I was doing this I found myself reconciling maybe years of prejudices and esterotypes that still remain inside me and my, sometimes, self sabotaging brain.

Maybe I should also clarify that saying something is girly doesn’t make it worse, but certainly doesn’t make it better than “non-girly” things. You can be both of those sides, we are a mixture of things we like, dislike, things that we are good at and things that we are not so good at, among other things.

So, if you like fashion, makeup, clothes, nails. hair, shopping is just as good as if you like wearing comfortable clothes, not dying your hair or having your nails done often and would rather buy books than clothes.

I am both sides.

I like both things.

I embrace my femininity.

I am able to do so because now I choose to love myself with all that I am.

Learn to love yourself too.

Love.Is.All.You.Need.

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