Yes, I am FAT!

Hello, Fangirl!

Today I’m going to talk about something that happened a few days ago where 2015 Playboy Playmate of the Year, Dani Mathers, decided that it was okay to snap a picture of a woman taking a shower after working out at gym in the US.

After she received a huge backlash from several people on Twitter (including Tess Holiday who quoted AlyssaGRodriguez‘s tweet) she deleted both her Instagram and Twitter account. She went on to apologize on Snapchat about what she did, but the damage is done. Not to her or her canceled gym membership or to her reputation (which it was), but to all those women who are afraid to go to the gym because of that kind of behavior.

This made me want to write about being fat, if you read one of my old entries you’ll see I’ve been kind of building up to these kind of topics.

Let’s start with my height, I’m 5’2″ and right then and there I’m already losing in the “battle to be pretty” that women face everyday and then let me add my weight which at the moment must be around 211 pounds give or take. I qualify as what the world  has called so far as fat, ugly, disproportionate, shameful to look at, horrible and most of all inadequate.

Everyday we, fat or plus size women, face the fact that the media, magazines, advertising, social media, other women and men, quietly or not so quietly tell us that we don’t fit the beauty standard that society says is the right one and sometimes it’s exhausting.

Why would someone like Dani Mathers think that is okay to publicly body shame a woman that is at the gym taking a shower after working out and most likely is concerned about her health? It’s simple, because being FAT is one of the worst things you can be for some people.

Let me clear about something that I firmly believe in: if you are doing something because SOCIETY or YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/HUSBAND/WIFE/FRIENDS tell you that you should because you are NOT PRETTY, because you are FAT or UGLY or TOO SKINNY or you’re flat as a door or anything remotely related to that you should stop now! If you want to go to the gym, eat healthier, drink more water or even get plastic surgery, make sure you do it FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE TO DO IT and not because you want to “fit in.”

You probably think I’m being intransigent, but I can tell you from my own experience that if you leave your happiness, your health and your self worth to outsiders that fuel will probably run out eventually. When I was a teenager I stopped eating for days just because I thought I was fat and, hello, I wasn’t! I think I was around 132 pounds at the time and it was painful for me to look at myself in the mirror, so much so that I stopped looking at it until I was already dressed.

Now, I look at myself in the mirror and know that I am worth much more than my body, than my weight, than what I wear or not wear. Today I look in the mirror and see someone who survived bullying internal and external, today I look in the mirror and see that my happiness is in my hands and no one else’s.

So, if you like to go to the gym, do yoga, go to zumba class, run at a park or any exercise GO DO IT! Don’t let anyone take away your chance to enjoy your chance to be healthier!

Until our next trip together!

PS: If you know who is the author of the image I used, let me know! It’s one of my favorites!

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